NINE STEPS TO MORE EFFECTIVE PARENTING

Parenting is not a new concept yet it requires a lot of efficiencies. Raising kids is the toughest and challenging job in today’s world.

These NINE steps can help you to raise your kid in a better way:-

1.  Boosting your child’s Self Esteem

It is a fact that kids start developing their sense of self at an early age when they are babies. They see themselves through their parents’ eyes. They hear your voice and observe your body language and expression. Thus your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem.

Whether big or small, all accomplishments must be praised, it will make them feel proud. Letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. Never ever belittle or compare a child. It will make them feel worthless.

Avoid making loaded statements. Choose your words carefully. Be compassionate. Even if they make mistakes deal with them softly and make them realize that you still love them.

2.  Appreciate your kids more for being good

Stop criticizing your kids again and again. Try to compliment them more often. The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right. Appreciate when they take care of their siblings. Encourage them to do their work without help and award them. Praise them every day. And award them with love and hugs. It’s a positive way to help your kids grow with good behaviours.

3.  Set limits and be consistent with your discipline

Discipline is a must at home. The goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviours and learn self-control. Kids develop self-control when their limits are set by the parents. Some house rules can be No TV until homework is done. Normally parents commit a mistake by punishing kids if they fail to follow a rule.

4.  Make time for your kids

Due to hectic schedule in office, many parents hardly get time to be a part of a family meal. They miss quality time with their kids. Make a time table of getting early so that you get enough time to eat breakfast with your kids. Your children may be missing your presence so they will enjoy each moment you spend with them. Create a special night each week to spend the time. When your kids reach adolescents they need undivided attention from their parents than younger kids. Parents must be available to teenagers. Communicate with them more often. Be a part of their concerts, games and other such activities. Be friendly with your teenage kids.

5.  Be a role model to them

Young kids observe their parents and try to follow them. It is necessary at this point that parents must be a role model to them. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this. Be aware that you are constantly being watched by your kids. Behave in front of your kids the way you want them to be. You must have traits like respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness and tolerance. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Try to express thanks and offer compliments. Treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you.

6.  Make communication a priority

Don’t expect kids to do everything simply because you, as a parent, say so. They need to be explained again and again. Kids if explained with reasons will understand and learn in a non-judgemental way.

Expectations are not wrong, but it must be clear. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings and allow your child to work on a solution with you. Don’t forget to make suggestions and offer enough choices. Be open to your child’s suggestions. Remember dear parent, kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.

7.  Be flexible and adjustable while parenting

Sometimes you may feel that you are let down by your child’s behaviour, that maybe because you have unrealistic expectations. Kids environments have an effect on their behaviour, so you might be able to change that behaviour by changing the environment.

Try to change your parenting style as your child changes. Chances are, what works with your child now won’t work as well in a year or two. It has been observed that teens tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models. But you as parents never stop your duty. Continue to provide guidance, encouragement and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to earn more independence. Try to grab every available moment to make a connection.

8.  Show that your love is unconditional

You are responsible for correcting and guiding your kids. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it.

If you have to confront your child, avoid blaming or criticizing them, else it will undermine self –esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining them. Doing so, make them feel that you still love them but your expectations still persist.

9.  What you need and your limitations?

Sometimes it is better to accept that you are an imperfect parent. Find out the weakness in you and try to work on it. Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your spouse and your kids. You don’t have to have all the answers- be forgiving of yourself.

You can make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention. Admit it when you’re burned out. Remember focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.

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